The Dead Will Rise

Feeling sorry for myself today. I tried to put together an entry but after almost three pages I realized it was all whining. My foot didn't heal quick enough to save the job. I attempted to work with the fractured foot but the healing was taking longer from the 12 hour days. My daughter helped me out by lending me her bill money for food. Payday was yesterday for the other workers and the employer won't answer my calls. My paycheck would be such a blessing today. I will not cry today. I will keep my head up and enjoy the day while I work on my long term goals and put together the short term plans to keep me sane and the family fed. All is good and the way it should be.
I wish I could afford just a small portion of land that this farm had. I would grow what I needed for my family and share food or portions of the land for others to grow their own. I would live simply and love it. The only thing....hahaha...could I survive without the internet. Technological dependencies still creep into my life.
I did ask about the potatoes that were being thrown out and perfectly good for a family to use for a meal or two. The response was not enthusiastic. Long story short I would have to sneak in and sort through the piles before they would let them go. I even volunteered to sort. But no go. I really think it made me sick to throw the food out when I knew my family and other families were hungry that day.

The reality of those dark corners of life "people like me" are forced to live in also shows itself in our children. "We" struggle to keep the ugliness from our children even if it is all around us. I said the other day, I can't keep my children from the bad but I can teach them to survive in it. My son likes the skateboard he puts together his own from other broken ones. My daughter plays the piano. We saved up and bought her one five years ago and she still has it in great shape. She is taking lessons from an retired music teacher who charges only $3 a session or less just to keep my daughter going. To some these are unnecessary items or costs but to me this is part of the survival. Not only is it keeping their interests alive but also keeping them away from being pulled into gangs or worse. I had a visitor yesterday seeking temporary refuge from a highway escape across the country. A relative who had also clawed her way from the clutches of street life. She wanted to be a nurse. She did it. In the mean time the lack of support for a single mother away from home left her children in the hands of schools and gangs. the latter won. Now, in search of safety and a new start (again) she expressed how tired she is and cried with fear of giving up. Her 11 year old son was terribly assaulted by her older son. Pure evil so close to home. The abuser recognized the behavior as a retaliation against the monster who preyed on him during his childhood. A cycle of evil that is getting smarter and smarter with each generation. My visitor was escaping her own son to protect the younger children. The best way to survive in this world is to keep moving. Don't stop. Keep going - somewhere.

An old man over twenty years ago shared with me that the signs of importance to watch for included events such as water will be sold in stores, the dead will rise, and a strong wind will come from the east. He hasn't been wrong yet. The dead will rise can be taken in so many ways, from the fossils and mummified bodies that are being discovered to the violence that is rising in hearts of the young as the passed abuses manifest itself. This is a storm we must go through. There is no avoiding it or easy way around it.

Peace and Humankindness