The reality of anyone's survival and success lies in their will and passion to do so. I have sat in silence for countless moments in time contemplating how to change my life and escape the confinement of circumstance - irony - escape my mind. Too much thinking and not enough doing! I just never know which way to move. I live a good life - i don't abuse drugs or alcohol, don't waste time on relationships that would bring those into my life, I am a spiritual person with the heart and passion enough to share with my family and much more, I am not afraid of the sun rise and live 'not to' mourn the sunset. All the pieces of past, present and future all add up to "me" so to reject even one shar would be to reject who I am so I am embrace all that I am and pray for what is needed to live with all that I am. I accept the truth that my life is what it is at the moment but another moment arrives and it can get better with each additional second on the clock.
I have realized, although my life is worlds away from alot of those out there who have the resources to make most of their dreams a reality - most dreams are the same. Freedom. Peace of mind. Happiness.
I just want to make just 'one step" forward today. No matter how difficult and discouraging the events around me may be. My heart gets heavy with remorse for time lost and I struggle through the day just to make the best of my moment. I just don't want to do the same thing tomorrow. I 'need' to feel the step 'taken'. I need to feel happiness in my waking hours rather than feel the sadness of leaving the sleeping life dream where my prayers have been answered. I need to feel the life of new love, the excitement of an earned adventure, the peace of mind while knowing I am "alive".
Until then . . . . I SMILE FOR THE HELL OF IT JUST BECAUSE ITS A GREAT START AND ITS CONTAGIOUS! AND EVENTUALLY EVEN THE FAKE SMILE BECOMES REAL. . . . .
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